Thanklessgiving Day

This is the day before Thanksgiving and I am taking inventory of all the things I must do.  I still have a number of casseroles and desserts that I need to prep and bake. I need to set my turkey to brine and in the process of orchestrating an attack plan for this afternoon, I am smacked with the realization that this year was quite catastrophic. 

This year saw the demise of many things.  My car, friendships, relationships I thought solid were shaken down to the very core.  I’d like to say that I came out of this stronger and more resilient, but the harsh reality is that I am vulnerable. Very exposed to the elements of life that would seek to tear me open and rend my flesh from my bones.  I have had difficult years in the past, but this year, 2014, will probably go down as both my worst and best year of my life to date. Today, I mark this as my Thanklessgiving day: a day to dine on ashes and live in my regrets. Today is a day for wallowing as I toil and try to harness some lesson from the bitter recollections I will draw upon.

I’m only laughing on the outside

My smile is just skin deep

If you could see inside I’m really crying

You might join me for a weep.                  

                                                ~Joker (Batman, 1989)