A Pretty Strange Dream.

Now I have some pretty exotic and detailed dreams--I guess that is why Isaac hear's me laugh while I'm asleep. I chalk it up to my overactive imagination and my love for reading—so my fantasy world can be highly detailed. Ask anyone from my D&D group. Well, I had a nice one last night and I thought I’d share it with you:

A family from outer space visited earth. They didn’t have bodies like you or I so they manufactured some to “wear” during the course of their visitation. The bodies were highly detailed and gender appropriate. The family consisted of two parents and one son. Their visit wasn’t covert at all (like on 3^rd Rock from the Sun). Instead, they had the government’s approval to stay as long as they wanted. I was a government agent assigned to their well being and answer any questions they had. I had a partner that reminds me now of Wanda Sykes. Together, we were to educate them on the human experience and the American life. I don’t know how I was picked for such a job but hey, it’s my dream right?

So the story picks up on a regular day during the work week. The son is in class and I am at the office. The father is with “Wanda” (I can’t actually remember her name so I’ll call her Wanda.) He is hosing down the drive way—not to clean it mind you, just to see the water cascade in sheets. He is fascinated by it.

            “Are you gonna clean it?” asks Wanda.

            “Clean it? Is it dirty? And if I clean it, won’t it just get dirty again?” says the father.

            “Well then why are you hosing it down?”

            “I like the water. We don’t have such things from my planet.”

            “You don’t have water? How do you drink?”

            “We don’t need to drink. This stuff is so different.” As he says this, he turns the hose onto himself and proceeds to soak himself.

            “What you need is a baptism. Have you been saved yet?”

            “Saved? From who? Is there danger?” He drops the hose and looks around some what alarmed.

            “From the devil. Don’t you have Jesus on your planet?”

            “No, he never visited. From what I’ve heard, some people here killed him.”

            “Well, I mean God. Don’t you have God?”

            “Oh, that is Jesus’s father right? No, he never visited either.”

            “Of course he has, he’s the God almighty! He made the entire universe. You, me, everything.”

            “Why do you keep talking about him? No one has ever seen him or heard from him except others that no longer exist. Yet you talk about him like he could show up any moment.”

            “He can. He is very much alive. He is the father of all life.”

            “I know, I know, you, me and everything right? Your obsession with this person is strange.”

            “All of your family needs to learn about him and be saved.”

Suddenly it’s late in the afternoon. Wanda and I pull up to the house for our routine afternoon visit. We walk right in to find all of them secluded in their rooms. Wanda goes to the parent’s room while I visit the son. I knock on his door he calls me to enter.  I enter another hallway with two more doors: one his bedroom and the other the bathroom with the shower running. His head pops out the bedroom and with a grin invites me in. He is a tall (about 7’) and has a swimmer’s build. His hair is jet black and his skin a pale tint. He is standing before me in his boxers.

            “I was just about to take a shower. Would you like to join me?”

            “Uh, no. We don’t actually bathe together routinely on this planet.”

            “You should, it is great fun.”

            “I’m sure it is. Have you been bathing all day?”

            “No, I just got home.”

            “Ok, good. I realize that you and your parents enjoy the water a lot but it isn’t good for you to stay submerged in water too long. Your bodies may lose too much of its natural oils it needs to survive. Over long periods of time, you could cause yourself injury.”

            “Ok, I won’t stay in all night.”

            “Another thing,” I walk over to his personal sink area he had in his room. He has all his drinking glasses filled with water. “When you rinse out your glasses, you can put them here to dry out. You don’t have to leave them filled.”

            “But isn’t that what they are for?”

            “Yes, but you don’t have to fill them up all the time. Once you’ve cleaned them and let them dry, you can put them away in your cabinet.” I open the cabinet to find he has filled all those glasses too.

            “If you leave water in them, the water tends to go stale.”

            “Is that why they taste different? I didn’t know what it was. Is stale a bad thing?”

            “I’ll explain more on that later. Right now, Wanda and I need to go file our reports. We’ll be back later to explain more.”

            “Well, you will but not Wanda.”

            “What? Why is that?”

            “My dad has just put her on fire.”

            “What?”

            He stares off into the distant for just a bit and says, “Yup. Just now. She won’t be working here anymore.”

            “Oh, you mean fired! She’s just been fired. Fired! Why?!”

            “It appears she’s obsessed with some dead guy that she insists his father has visited our planet.”

“I better go check up on her.”

“Are you coming back for dinner? We’re gonna eat—a lobster.”

“Uh, I’m not sure.” I go outside to find Wanda pacing back and forth by the car. I don’t say a word while she starts shouting.

            “They canned me. Me! They can’t do that. Just who in the hell do they think they are!”

I get in the car and she gets in too. Next thing I know, the alarm is going off.