There is no way I could make this up. This is just a testimony to the luck or Karma that I have. I really must have been vile person in a past life. Let me explain. Last week, the University Communications office at St. Mary’s University announced a pin making contest to celebrate Oyster Bake. Now those of you that do not know what that is, let me sum up by saying it is an annual festival that traditionally kicks off Fiesta Week. The money generated from the event goes towards scholarships for their students. If you look through my photos, you’ll see my creation, of which I am very proud of, that I entered it into to the contest.
Monday morning, I received an e-mail notifying me that I am a finalist and I needed to turn in my pin/button by noon that day so I could proceed to the final round. The announcement would be made on Wednesday—that’s right: today. So this morning, I get another e-mail saying that the announcement would be made at 2:30pm. I’m excited, to say the least, and I just can’t wait to find out.
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that the communications office is just a fancy way of saying Public Relations and sure enough they like to snap pictures and do phenomenal write-ups on everything St. Mary’s related. I applaud their efforts. They really do a great job! Now, having said that, let me tell you what happened over lunch! Yes! I’m sure you guessed it!
One of the ladies on duty at Subway was telling me how good the Cream of Broccoli and Cheddar Cheese soup was today. My mouth watered at her description but I just wanted a sandwich. She gave me a sample. It was the Sample of Doom, I tell you! I returned to my desk because I am having a busy day today and I wanted to knock out many projects over lunch and I started in on the soup. I dropped a cracker in the soup and decided after I dropped it in whole that I would rather prefer it broken up so I charged in with the spoon. To my dismay and in a flash of a second, the spoon gores the cracker but the cracker doesn’t break. Instead, the spoon bends at the neck and creates a spring-like effect that forces the cracker to slide towards me flushing a large quantity of soup over the lip of the container, over the edge of my desk, past the gullet of my belly, and right onto my pants! Not just anywhere on my pants but right below the zipper and to the left! OMG!!!
I immediately dropped everything, AND I MEAN DROPPED, grabbed a napkin and started rubbing my crotch furiously! That’s when two students—two female students—walked by my window starring at me in disbelief. Before I can say or do anything, they walk past the window muttering among themselves. Probably wondering to whom they should report the pervert.
You’re probably asking yourself, as you laugh hysterically at my misfortune, what this has to do with the pin/button thing. As is my lot in life, I am a misfortune magnet! More than likely, I am going to be one of the winners and they are going to want me to gather for a picture with the President of the University, the Director of the Communications department, and the other winners as well. There I will stand with the largest stain possible over my crotch—under my zipper and to the left, thinking how the hell do I get myself into these things! The announcement is just over half an hour away. yay, me.
